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  • Southland Tales

    Southland Tales

    ★★★★

    How can anyone hate a movie with lines like ...

    "You know what, I like to get fucked, I like to get fucked hard. Okay, but you have to draw the line somewhere. I mean, violence is a big problem in our society today and I will not support it. That is the primary reason why I won't do anal."

    "We're a bisexual nation living in denial. All because of a bunch of nerds. A bunch of nerds who got…

  • The Dead Don't Die

    The Dead Don't Die

    ★★

    It's impossible for JJ to make a truly terrible film, but much of this -pardon the pun- dies on screen. The humor isn't wildly funny (redneck in a grammatically incorrect "Keep America White Again" hat and calling Rosie Perez "Posie Juarez" wouldn't make it past the first draft of a ZAZ comedy).

    That leaves us with the zombie movie trappings. JJ doesn't really add much to the genre that George Romero didn't already perfect back in 1978 with Dawn of…

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  • Pump Up the Volume

    Pump Up the Volume

    ★★★★★

    The cinematic equivalent of trading in your Poison tape for a Pixies CD.

  • Ready Player One

    Ready Player One

    ★★

    Steven Spielberg's Steve Buscemi's "How Do You Do, Fellow Kids?"