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  • Letters to Juliet

    Letters to Juliet

    ★★★½

    listen it’s 2017 im not about to start stanning taylor swift but that damn Love Story song + my dream woman amanda seyfried + my dream italian countryside life....had me on the floor

  • Billy Elliot

    Billy Elliot

    ★★★★★

    im sure the guy who plays the adult version of baby jamie bell is an excellent dancer and an excellent human being but he doesn’t have the EARS darling!!!!! he doesn’t have the EARS!!!!!!

  • The Social Network

    The Social Network

    ★★★★★

    apparently shia labeouf turned down the role of mark. did you hear me? i said he turned it down. meaning he was offered the role or at the very least he was seriously considered for it. imagine him attempting this script oh my god imagine him working with david fincher 

    if you guys thought the singer/malek disputes were messy just IMAGINE after like 19 takes of shia going rogue and talking about the time he talked to a coconut on…

  • The House of Tomorrow

    The House of Tomorrow

    ★★★

    i finished sex education on netflix today and i am loving my new life as an asa butterfield stan. no longer is he That Boy From Hugo, he is now Tall British Freckle Boy and in 2019 i Will learn how to pronounce his name

  • Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

    Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

    ★★★

    at one point percy called annabeth “annie” and I almost started crying so that’s where i am. on this Monday night. hearts are full tonight lads

  • Vice

    Vice

    ★★★

    for the rest of awards season when people talk about this movie im gonna pretend they’re saying WEISZ and this is an ensemble film honoring our finest working actress

  • Assassination Nation

    Assassination Nation

    ★★

    i get a lot of shit on here for not posting "serious reviews" but what you guys don't understand is that im being deadly serious when i say i wanna suck bill skarsgard's toes

  • A Star Is Born

    A Star Is Born

    ★★★★½

    i don’t know what it is about the dolby theater but i walked in thinking “this movie really is 2+ hours huh” and the first thing i said on the way out was “i will not be mad if bradley cooper wins best director”. it’s worth watching amc jerk itself off for a good 3 minutes beforehand telling you the screen is like marginally more colorful. miss gaga and sam elliott crying together in maximum HD.....gonna go journal about this

  • Support the Girls

    Support the Girls

    ★★★★

    i’ve never met haley lu richardson but she’s the most important person in the world to me i would step in front of a bullet for her and i need her to know that

  • The Old Man & the Gun

    The Old Man & the Gun

    ★★★★½

    hello? mr. criterion? i have a new suggestion

  • Into the Woods

    Into the Woods

    ★★★

    the following is a leaked email from IntoTheWoodsProducer1@disney.com to IntoTheWoodsProducer2@disney.com, recovered in the Sony hack:

    MOVIE MUSICAL CHECKLIST, or: HOW TO DIRECTLY PIGGYBACK ON THE SUCCESS OF THE LES MIS MOVIE

    ✅ adapt an old ass musical that works better onstage

    ✅ swap out practical effects for insanely obvious CGI

    ✅ hire maximum 2 actors with actual experience on broadway
    [i hear chris pine has never even HEARD of into the woods! perfect!]

    ✅ speaking of which, get that child…

  • The Upside

    The Upside

    ★★★½

    kevin hart thinks that yelling while short makes him a valuable member of the comedy scene when we’ve had nathan lane this whole time