Kingsman: The Golden Circle ½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

Things this movie did:

— Unnecessarily killed a significant female character from the first movie within about ten minutes, after giving her 20 seconds of screentime. Likely because they decided that she wouldn't be the love interest that she was set up to potentially be (thus rendering her useless and disposable, obviously).

— Used the flimsiest excuse, and explanation, possible to unnecessarily bring back a male character who was killed in the first movie, then do absolutely nothing with him for at least half an hour.

— Added about 4 new male characters.

— Had the main character call up his girlfriend, tell her he was going to have sex with another woman for a mission, argue with her, and then proceed to cheat on her by kissing and touching another woman in a sexual manner, when the girlfriend had made it perfectly clear that she wasn't comfortable with it, and did not consent to it.

— Had another character describe this character as 'loyal'.

— Had the male lead say, "I lost her and it broke me," about this girlfriend when they never broke up, and he at no point displayed any sort of emotion about the situation at all... unless leaving a few voicemails counts as a breakdown.

— Had the male lead insert something into a female character's bloodstream through her vaginal mucus without her consent. Yes, I'm serious.

— Underused the main villain and completely wasted Julianne Moore as an actress.

— Invoked two of the most cliche tropes ever: the rogue male agent whose wife was murdered by a drunk driver/drug addict/whatever fits the context, and injecting the villain with their own poison in the hopes that they'll give you the antidote.

— Invoked the damsel in distress trope far too much.

— Had two male characters get into an argument (ish) because one of them fooled around with the other's ex, essentially treating her like a used object/possession to be claimed, with no autonomy or agency of her own.

— Unnecessarily killed a dog.

— Made me watch Dumbledore die again.

— Went on for two and a half hours when I wanted to leave after those first ten minutes.

I fucking love Mark Strong though.