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  • The Matrix

    The Matrix

    ★★★★★

    "Woah!" and "Breathtaking!" are still my two most common exclamatory reactions when watching this perfectly orchestrated masterpiece.

  • Jackass 3D

    Jackass 3D

    ★★★★

    Close in memory still, I recall exiting this film back in 2010 with a great deal of sadness. Although they would give us Bad Grandpa a few years later, it truly felt like the end of an era. An era filled with crazy stunts, A-grade toilet humor, countless injuries, belly laughs and "yeah dudes". The Jackass crew always gave me a pick-me-up when I was down in the dumps. And they helped me get through a dark period in my…

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  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World

    ★★★★

    God creates dinosaurs

    God destroys dinosaurs

    God creates Steven Spielberg

    Steven Spielberg creates dinosaurs

    Dinosaurs inspire man

    Man destroys God

    The Indie-to-Hollywood Conversion Factory creates Colin Trevorrow

    Colin Trevorrow reverse-engineers a beloved childhood favorite and puts most of the pieces back in a satisfying, nostalgic and highly entertaining fashion, if also neglecting the importance of character and the great, oh-so-great value of Goldblumian acting capabilities.

    Second-rate writers inherit the earth

  • The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

    ★★½

    The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the funky air of my local HFR theatre.

    Much that once was is lost, for no director now lives who remembers its subtle epicness.

    It began with the forging of The Lord of the Rings trilogy and the great feels that followed.

    Three feels were given to the Elves; immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings.

    Seven to the Dwarf…