I was underwhelmed.
"Howard's place starts vibrating, his chair levitates, and he's yanked by a tractor beam through the other apartments on his floor, up up up into outer space. Note that along the way he passes a lady duck taking a bath, and this is the second time in as many minutes we see naked duck tits with hot-pink nipples. It's arguably the closest Howard the Duck comes to capturing the rude spirit of the classic, Steve Gerber-penned issues of HOWARD THE…
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
I hate this movie for all its cutesy quoting of Wrath of Khan while trying and spectacularly failing to sublet its gravitas. I hate it for casting the whitest actor on Earth as a man named Khan Noonien Singh. I hate it for the way that every shot in the back half is a three-ring circus of lens flares, cluttered sets, and CGI embellishments. I hate it for turning Spock into Sheldon from "The Big Bang Theory". I hate it…
Sophie's Choice made me feel unclean, because it's the story of a Polish immigrant purging her most shameful secret, framed as the story of a Southern doofus losing his virginity to the same woman, a victim of the concentration camps. La Meryl's good, shrug; it's a very Garbo performance, if Garbo were a perfect acting machine. Much was made of William Styron's agenda in writing the source novel, i.e., to show that it wasn't just card-carrying Jews who suffered during…