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  • The Lion King

    The Lion King

    ★★

    The animators drew this? Free hand? My god, these could be tracings.

  • Point Blank

    Point Blank

    ★★★

    54

    This is the type of B-action movie that used to be popular in the late 80s and 90s and just can't make it into theaters anymore. It's fun, short, and stupid, with a few genuinely funny action sequences. There's nothing innovative here, nothing that I'll remember a week from now, but it was an entertaining way to spend 80 minutes.

    I found this better than Joe Lynch's last effort, Mayhem, where the comedy was too campy and overbearing for me. Here I thought he found a better balance, and the film is just competent enough to work.

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  • Slender Man

    Slender Man

    Just getting a head start on some reviews in case I'm feeling lazy in the coming weeks. It's been a tight terrible horror race this year. Between Insidious: The Last Key, Truth or Dare, and Unfriended, the "worst movie of the year" honor is gonna be hotly contested. And now we have this and The Nun to throw in the mix! A horror crapfest competition might be more exciting than the Oscars this year.

  • The Meg

    The Meg

    ★★

    36

    Rainn Wilson: *Begins to speak*

    Me: Let me stop you right there. Don't care. Get to Statham fighting big shark.
    ______

    Scientist: If I wire this we can divert power to the-

    Me: Let me stop you right there. Don't care. Get to Statham fighting big shark.
    ______

    Statham: I'm not crazy I'm telling you-

    Me: Do. Not. Care. Fight the shark!
    ______

    What feels like two full hours later: *Statham fights big shark*

    Me: Nice