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  • Kuffs

    Kuffs

    ★★★½

    This is a weird, tonally inconsistent mashup of Ferris Bueller and Beverly Hills Cop, but damn if Christian Slater isn’t so lovable that I’m not all in. Milla Jovovich as a 15-year-old (in real life) playing a sexualized college student is really fucking gross though. She wasn’t even old enough to drive! Hollywood icks me out, man.

  • Raising Cain

    Raising Cain

    ★★★½

    Even lesser De Palma will contain a few masterstrokes. Where this lacks in the script it more than makes up for with Lithgow, who could make a phone book interesting.

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  • Loqueesha

    Loqueesha

    You can tell this is by an out-of-touch old white dude because it’s about someone getting famous on the fucking radio

  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let's Do the Time Warp Again

    The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let's Do the Time Warp Again

    I'm the most open-minded, non-remake hating person imaginable. I take everything at face value and try not to compare it to original work. That said, this is still garbage from top to bottom. Half the cast is terrible and the other half never gets to properly shine when they might actually be decent.

    The set design is boring and cheap, the reorchestrated music is fucking abysmal, and at the end of this I just wanted to be dead. Instead I'm just going to watch a superior follow-up to the original Rocky Horror: Shock Treatment.

    Let us never speak of this again.