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  • Playful Pluto

    Playful Pluto

    The question “why does Goofy wear pants and speak while Pluto is kept as a nude pet?” is the lowest, basest form of humor; the exclusive domain of hacks and normies trying on observational comedy like an ill-fitting suit. It’s a question that bothers nobody because the answer is obvious: Pluto and Goofy are not real and were designed for different purposes. Goofy is a funny animal designed to annoy the early, choleric Mickey. Pluto is a triumph of character…

  • Escalation

    Escalation

    Probably the least surprising thing about me is I have a favorite of the Nine Old Men and it’s Ward Kimball.

    This is an anti-LBJ short where his nose gets so hard that it comes American propaganda. Maybe not the most groundbreaking political commentary of all-time but it’s fun to imagine that -had he not died two years earlier- this would’ve killed Walt Disney.

    Anyway, Ward Kimball rules.

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  • Midsommar

    Midsommar

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I was sitting next to the entrance and during the sex scene a guy walked into the wrong theater, went “nope,” and walked back out.

  • Spider-Man: Far from Home

    Spider-Man: Far from Home

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Huge respect to JK Simmons for plowing through two miles of legal paperwork and red-tape to play J. Jonah Jameson in every iteration of Spider-Man since 2002. If you’re the guy playing JJJ at the Disney Parks, watch your ass; Somewhere on this earth JK Simmons is walking in your direction, expressionless and determined like the monster from It Follows.