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  • A Wrinkle in Time

    A Wrinkle in Time

    Aka Exposition: The Movie

    I can't believe this didn't premiere on The Disney Channel instead of being released theatrically. The CG is about equal to what you'd see in a SyFy movie.

  • Jaws

    Jaws

    ★★★★★

    A perfect movie.
    What else is there to say?

    Wanna get drunk and fool around?

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  • Escape Plan 2: Hades

    Escape Plan 2: Hades

    Terrible. Stallone's on screen for about 15 minutes throughout the movie. Aside from Stallone, the acting is awful. The action scenes are poorly shot and full of annoying shaky cam. I'm pretty forgiving when it comes to Stallone movies but this was horrible.

  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

    Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

    ★★

    Number of chainsaw deaths: 0

    Random thoughts while watching this movie:

    - Leatherface would rather put makeup and nail polish on than kill people.

    - Barry is the inspiration for all Danny McBride's characters. ("I kissed her once! God, it's like I can't talk to my friends anymore, I can't believe how possessive you are.")

    - Everyone likes pizza. Even cannibals.

    - Why are there no drive thru pizza places near me?

    - There's a lot of screaming in this…