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  • Alien Resurrection

    Alien Resurrection

    ★★½

    there were some interesting metaphors for abortion but wow how the rest of this was garbage

  • Alien³

    Alien³

    ★★★

    this is fiction. newt and hicks are alive. that is all.

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  • Descendants 3

    Descendants 3

    ★★★

    they finally got decent wigs

  • The Return of Swamp Thing

    The Return of Swamp Thing

    ★★★★

    so bad it’s good! all the cringe dialogue and overacting make this so much more fun and enjoyable than the original. i was dying at the swamp sex scene, heather locklear shooting a shotgun as the swamp thing drives a jeep, and those 10 year olds talking about which porn star fits their astrological sign