I'm not crying, I'm allergic to animated horses.
Jack Caulfield ★
In a universe of genetically modified dinosaurs, Fallen Kingdom is excruciatingly dumb and offensively average. Please God let this franchise die.
All the previous films crammed into one, with fewer thrills and a bit of Resident Evil thrown in for good measure. As I said last time, it feels too much…
Loud Explosions ★★½
A movie so drunk on its own stupidity that it's kind of fun to watch. A new direction for the Jurassic Park series.
jay (two weeks to tiff) ★★½ 4
hi guys it’s jeff goldblum here :) sorry i was gone for a few days i was kidnapped by universal and forced to star in fallen kingdom (im fine so…
sree ★ 9
[screeching] WHEN WILL YOU LEARN WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES
Matt Singer ★½ 10
Every Jurassic Park sequel has had an uncomfortable relationship with logic, but even by this franchise’s standards, Fallen Kingdom is particularly ridiculous. All of the characters — even the heroes…
davidehrlich ½ 85
FALLEN KINGDOM makes Jurassic World look like Jurassic Park.
a tedious, infuriating, and braindead ordeal that knowingly epitomizes so much of what’s wrong with modern blockbusters. i *hated* every cheap,…