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  • It

    It

    The CineMortuary Podcast | IT (2017)

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    This remake of the TV film - put those complaints away - places us right in the middle of the current wave of 1980s nostalgia. Can we expect something different than kids on bikes clowning around like a bunch of goon(ie)s? Well, Stranger Things have happened.

    CineMortuary is a horror podcast reviewing revolting remakes and ghastly sequels.

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  • A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

    A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

    The CineMortuary Podcast | A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

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    Oh dear. The lads find themselves stuck in a mental institution with only a nun speaking in nonsensical riddles for company. Their dreams are trying to kill them, and even worse, the guy responsible has developed a taste for terrible puns. Can they survive? Or with the dream warriors, they don't want to dream no more, and maybe tonight they'll be gone.

    CineMortuary is a horror podcast reviewing revolting remakes and ghastly sequels.

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  • The Grudge

    The Grudge

    The CineMortuary Podcast | Episode 015 - The Grudge

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    So we're clear: the maid's body was in the attic before the married couple's because the maid's sequence at the beginning of the film takes place chronologically after the couple move in and it's their corpses the maid sees as she's dragged up and killed before the couple move in and wait that's not right--

    CineMortuary is a horror podcast reviewing revolting remakes and ghastly sequels.

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  • Blade II

    Blade II

    The CineMortuary Podcast | Episode 014 - Blade II

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    Part 2 of CineMortuary's unboxing trilogy and Dave's at it again choosing films that are horror in name only (granted the first Blade was quite goretacular). We're too excited from seeing Danny John Jules in a non-Red Dwarf role to care.

    CineMortuary is a horror podcast reviewing revolting remakes and ghastly sequels.

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  • The Fog

    The Fog

    The CineMortuary Podcast | Episode 013 - The Fog

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    The first part of CineMortuary's unboxing trilogy sees Rob deliver a near-literal turd in a box. That's why we're dipping back into John Carpenter remake territory with the 2005 remake of The Fog - where atmospherics and Jamie Lee Curtis have been replaced by Fall Out Boy and Shannon from Lost. On the plus side, CEX will offer to buy Dave and Chris' newly acquired DVDs for 1p.

    CineMortuary is a horror podcast reviewing revolting remakes and ghastly sequels.

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  • The Conjuring 2

    The Conjuring 2

    The CineMortuary Podcast | Episode 012 - The Conjuring 2

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    Our last episode featured a film so obscure, we've made an effort to synergetically put our ducks in a row and target our key demographics in order to enhance the CineMortuary experience. Who'd have thought reviewing a modern film would shoot us into the big time? Now buy our merch.

    CineMortuary is a horror podcast reviewing revolting remakes and ghastly sequels.

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  • Return of the Blind Dead

    Return of the Blind Dead

    The CineMortuary Podcast | Episode 011 - The Return of the Evil Dead

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    Somewhere in Spain, exactly 500 years ago tonight, Dailymotion was created as a rival to YouTube. But it was a bit bollocks and uncool so everyone forgot about it. What will happen when the king of obsolete formats gives the other two hosts a reason to venture into this ghost town? Nothing but red X's and ten year old episodes of TNA Impact await.

    CineMortuary is a horror podcast reviewing revolting remakes and ghastly sequels.

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  • My Bloody Valentine

    My Bloody Valentine

    The CineMortuary Podcast | Episode 010 - My Bloody Valentine 3D

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    No clues. No motives. A city full of suspects. Solving this case is going to be murder. Well shit.

    CineMortuary is a horror podcast reviewing revolting remakes and ghastly sequels.

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  • The Wicker Man

    The Wicker Man

    The CineMortuary Podcast | Episode 009 - The Wicker Man

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    Amazing Cage, how sweet the sound,
    That saved a wretch like me.
    I once was lost but now am found,
    Was blind, NO NOT THE BEES.

    CineMortuary is a horror podcast reviewing revolting remakes and ghastly sequels.

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  • The Mummy Returns

    The Mummy Returns

    The CineMortuary Podcast | Episode 008 - The Mummy Returns

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    "It's not a horror film though, is it?"

    The thing is, if Dave hadn't been put on the spot he would've chosen something more gore-tastic. And if Chris hadn't screwed up his calendar, we could've scheduled this episode for New Year's Day as The Mummy Returns' is quite a 3pm New Year's Day on BBC One film. And if Rob hadn't stood there looking as…

  • House on Haunted Hill

    House on Haunted Hill

    The CineMortuary Podcast | Episode 007 - House on Haunted Hill

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    Having travelled beyond the Long Hard Road Out of Hell (aka 2017), This Is the New Shit. Rob, Chris, and Dave review the House of Haunted Hill remake; where instead of some Disposable Teens, we have The Nobodies. They better Get their Gunns (from coffins-within-coffins for some reason) and break out the Fight Song as our Beautiful People must spend a night in said…

  • Invasion of the Body Snatchers

    Invasion of the Body Snatchers

    The CineMortuary Podcast | Episode 006 - Invasion of the Body Snatchers

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    The final episode of 2017 takes us into the realms of weird space flowers, weird sports zombies, and weird Jeff Goldblum wandering onto the set until they were forced to put him in the film. Chris (sponsored by water®) explains why the 1956 is his favourite horror film, while Rob and Dave play switcheroo on their opinions about the remake. But who's to…