The Chronicles of Riddick ★★★

"Look at you. All back of the bus and shit."

one of the dorkiest, most conceptually tin-eared things ever, sort of a bro'd out Edgar Rice Burroughs. but hell if it isn't committed, and at least it has the good sense to be both relentlessly happening at you and bafflingly stupid, not to mention the killer final moments. burns through plot like a gas explosion, and absolutely bursting with esoteric design and outlandish characters; there's a massive, occasionally downright gorgeous, and deeply silly universe crammed into every little corner here. you can easily imagine Twohy and Vin Diesel hanging out after a long day of D&D, their faces plastered with the beaming smiles of proud fathers as they watch their personal, unreleased 4 1/2 hour cut of this. to call it kind of awesome is probably an overstatement, but it's definitely a kind of awesome.