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  • If Beale Street Could Talk

    If Beale Street Could Talk

    ★★★★★

    Like a poet somehow graced the medium of film with not only the most beautiful and eloquent words they could pluck from the dictionary but with the methodical detail and precision of an artist constructing his finest work to date, their paintbrush soaked in emotion, heartbreak and honesty, all the while a symphony of sombre violins and one lone piano chime in through the nighttime ambience around them.

  • Cold War

    Cold War

    ★★★

    Cold War is a beautiful film.

    It's the one phrase I could come up with when I said to myself "I should write something about Cold War". In all fairness, its 3 o'clock in the morning, so maybe that's why I'm drawing a blank. Cold War didn't deter my thoughts and feelings, nor did it challenge my perspectives or result in a reaction I'd remark as "out of the ordinary" but it was just a beautiful film. Nothing more, nothing…

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  • The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

    The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

    ★★½

    An admittedly inferior sequel to The Lego Movie that seems too scattered and clumsy to be called necessary. Basically only works as a retread of some of the iconic moments from its predecessor, but unfortunately lacks the wit and charm of the first. Not to say The Lego Movie 2 doesn't have its moments, it does, but it gets bogged down with dumb humour and a forgettable plotline that it makes the rest of the experience feel draining and lifeless.…

  • Alita: Battle Angel

    Alita: Battle Angel

    ★½

    A monotonous CGI trainwreck riddled with clichés, appaling writing, weightless action, stock music, boring characters, cringe-worthy dialogue and above all else, had the goddamn nerve to dedicate its ENTIRE RUNTIME to a possible SEQUEL to a film that literally NO ONE WILL WATCH.

    I hate films.

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  • Velvet Buzzsaw

    Velvet Buzzsaw

    Pretty bold of Netflix to produce a film criticising the commercialisation and inevitable destruction of the art scene while at the same time doing the exact same thing with their industry-consuming business model that would've festered on anything like this if not for the shining lights that appear around the name "Jake Gyllenhaal", which all in all didn't even have the ability to keep this trainwreck off the ground.

  • Bohemian Rhapsody

    Bohemian Rhapsody

    A glorified wiki page transformed into a standard, pandering and abysmal retelling of a story which has been watered down to appeal to the biggest demographic known to man, to rake in more money and bank off of the names and art created by people who don't deserve to even be remotely related to a product of this quality.