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  • The Water Diviner

    The Water Diviner

    ½

    My ancestors who shed blood in Asia Minor would be turning in their graves if I gave this insidious and historically illiterate piece of SHIT more than half a star. Is there a zero star option? There should be. Even if this wasn't a blatant Kemalist propaganda piece, it would still be a choppily directed, melodramatic, contrived vanity project. FUCK YOU, Russell Crowe, and your new Turkish investor buddies. And to whoever this Andrew Anastasios writer and the rest of the Greek-Australian cast are: you are all a fucking DISGRACE.

    Never forget the Greek, Armenian and Assyrian Genocide of 1914-1922.

  • Escape from L.A.

    Escape from L.A.

    ★★★★½

    "The more things change, the more they stay the same."

    Possibly the most misunderstood movie of all time - Roger Ebert got this right though, way back in 1996. A parody of action films done perfectly, avoiding modern self-referentiality and constant wink-winks. Perhaps the first successful remake-quel to (n)ever come out of the Hollywood machine, as it deliberately repeats and mocks beats from Escape from New York (e.g. Plissken finds and rests on a random chair, meets a random chick…

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  • This Gun for Hire

    This Gun for Hire

    ★★★★

    Extremely taut and tightly scripted B-side film noir, with all the major players interconnected with each other, while packing fascinating psychological subtext for the main assassin (Alan Ladd in his first "big" role). Due to the timing of filming, there are also patriotic nods weaven throughout the film about civic/national duty and against corporate war profiteers, nods that come to be in spite of the fact that the director, Frank Tuttle, was an unapologetic communist agent. Veronica Lake sizzles in her otherwise angelic role, but it is Laird Cregar who gives the most interesting performance as an effeminate and gluttonous nightclub executive.

  • Hell or High Water

    Hell or High Water

    ★★★★½

    "Lord of the Plains. That's me."

    The excellent middle chapter of the unofficial Frontier Trilogy (which includes Sicario and Wind River) and truly one of the most American films of the decade. Taylor Sheridan's writing is so straightforward and to-the-point that it can easily skid into unsubtle territory, but it completely works for me in the stories, characters and themes he sets out to explore. There is great economy of storytelling here (ironic, since the '08 collapse of the American…

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  • Captain Marvel

    Captain Marvel

    ½

    "... and introducing David Jude Heyworth Law as The Supreme Patriarchy"

    A cheap-looking and incoherent episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (essentially the homeless man's version of that episode where Lady Sif shows up) gets intergalactically spliced together with the origin story of a feminist power fantasy (it's all about dat power, after all!), as well as a thinly-veiled Skrull allegory about the misunderstood Muslamic ray guns (www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE2OzGfIDLQ) and "muh refugees". Corporate moral relativism at its finest. Brie Larson (with her…

  • Lady Bird

    Lady Bird

    ½

    @GretaGerwig
    www.youtube.com/watch?v=2abDFA5zzls
    #quIRKy #obnoxious #insufferable

    Actual quotes from this narcissistic garbagefire:
    "I wish I could get an eating disorder."
    "We deflowered each other. We have each other's flowers."

    Oh, and Lucas Hedges is the death of acting.
    Oh, and if I hear another 9/11 reference in an otherwise bland and toothless movie, I'm gonna go all Mohamed Atta on Hollywood. The only person who successfully framed his story around that experience was Spike Lee 15 YEARS AGO.
    Oh, and if…