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  • Ghost Ship

    Ghost Ship

    ★★

    Originally conceived as "The Shining on a boat," and it shows. If The Shining is fine cuisine, then Ghost Ship is comfort food. In all the ways that The Shining is makes you chew on it for a long time without quite putting all the seemingly arbitrary, fanciful flavors together; Ghost Ship is a simple, gratifying recipe comprised of the same tropes. Everything comes back around and ties neatly into a very clear, if basic mythology.

    At times the concept,…

  • The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

    The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

    Never would have believed that Kiera Knightley could carry a film by squeaking and eating her own hair, but here we are.

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  • Avengers: Endgame

    Avengers: Endgame

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A moving reflection on the permanence of loss and learning how to rebuild--oh, wait, no, just the pedestrian magic of time travel and sarcastic self-referentiality.

    The biggest plot twist is that Black Widow was never an actual person. Just a sexy MacGuffin, really. Which, if you also accept that Iron Man was a soulless fuckbot means that Marvel didn't actually kill anyone off. We could have skipped the whole Thanos arc and the timeline would be practically unchanged.

  • Blade Runner 2049

    Blade Runner 2049

    ★½

    What even is a "blade," and why does it need to be "run?"

    2049 tried to ride the line between cerebral visual poem and action blockbuster, and it failed in both respects. In part, this is because the original Blade Runner concept is not as unique or interesting as it once was. "Do clones have souls?" was never a sound philosophical question, at least not as much as the oft-confused "do computers have souls?". It was fun in the '80s,…