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  • Spider-Man: Far from Home

    Spider-Man: Far from Home

    ★★★½

    if there's a world record for "number of tears shed during an ac/dc song" you'll all be so proud to hear that i just broke it

  • Jesus Christ Superstar

    Jesus Christ Superstar

    ★★★½

    caiaphas: i don't understand why you're filled with remorse / you've been paid for your efforts
    judas, about to come out of the closet: oh, you haven't heard? i don't know how to love him

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  • Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    imagine having to go up to a harry potter fan from 2008 and explain some of this shit to them. 
    "so," you'd say, voice breaking, "here's the thing. dumbledore's secret brother, who is at least 20 years younger than dumbledore, was in a relationship with voldemort's snake." 
    "wait, so aberforth fucks goats and this new one fucks snakes?" they'd say, laughing with the blissful ignorance of not yet thinking this is real.
    "well, she's sort of human."
    "oh, like an…

  • Black Panther

    Black Panther

    ★★★★½

    just a warning for all u bisexuals out there: you won't survive this movie. you just won't. i'm a lesbian and i was experiencing heart palpitations every time michael b. jordan was onscreen. please, save yourselves