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  • Toy Story 2

    Toy Story 2

    ★★★

    65

    Wait, wait, hold on. You’re telling me there are people who don’t think this is the best Toy Story film?

  • Funeral Parade of Roses

    Funeral Parade of Roses

    ★★★½

    73

    “The spirit of an individual reaches its own absolute through incessant negation.”

    Though I often struggle to enter a film with zero prior knowledge, mainly due to the rise of the internet and the various film connections one can attain, that rare experience of viewing a piece of work completely BLIND and being utterly hysterical and bewildered throughout is one of the purest moments a film fan can have.

    This is essentially an LGBT-horror science experiment gone wrong, packed to the brim with fucking, death and Beethoven. Basically A Clockwork Orange but even more disturbing.

    Matsumoto, you’re a mad genius.

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  • Kill Bill: Vol. 1

    Kill Bill: Vol. 1

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    1

    *DISCLAIMER: ANY MENTION OF TARANTINO’S SKILL AS A WRITER AND DIRECTOR DOES NOT APPLY TO PULP FICTION, WHICH IS UNDENIABLY A CLASSIC, ALBEIT AN ANOMALY*

    The memory of my first viewing of… uh, ‘Kill Bill: Volume 1’ is unfortunately a memory I will take to my grave. Reminiscing on that fateful night, so many moons ago, brings those ever so crimson tears cascading down onto my bosom, once again. I remember the distant screams of my father in the…

  • Black Mirror: Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too

    Black Mirror: Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too

    ½

    well fuck me in the asshole then/100

    It’s that time of year again: Black Mirror is back on every bored white mum’s television screen. 

    I don’t believe that Black Mirror is the most poorly written and ultimately pointless thing I’ve ever seen. (I have seen Kill Bill). It’s pretty fucking close though. 

    Absolutely agonising to watch. It’s technophobic messages are utterly pathetic, narrow-minded, stubborn and completely useless to anyone who’s a functional adult. The stories are bland, uninteresting and unoriginal.…