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  • Sideways

    Sideways

    ★★★★★

    In someone else’s hands adapting this wine book could’ve been culturally useless, but Alexander Payne turns it into an unmissable aughts time capsule with sharper, angrier satire of American decadence than anything else in its decade. An absolute cartoon for the most part, Payne is so vicious to his two leads we are granted the right to pity these irredeemably problematic middle aged white American men so entrenched in their own sauce every day is a new, unique crisis of…

  • Brad's Status

    Brad's Status

    Dad’s lad’s grad status has bad effect on Brad (that’s Dad), as Brad’s dread at his past friend’s success has Brad acting a tad sociopathic and asking for business class gratis. But Brad’s past frat lads are crass, sad addicts and have bad habits! Brad assesses his status as not as bad as he had gassed it.

  • The Greatest Showman

    The Greatest Showman

    Never thought I’d see this; and then it was the only movie unseen in the  “New Release” on my harrowing, miserable Norwegian flight to Gatwick. This movie is preposterous but I liked everyone in it, except for the unnecessarily CGI’d Tom Thumb who looked like he belonged in The Polar Express. Songs bad except for that second one about wishes or dreams (miracles?) that I cried during. I honestly wish they had gone harder with the absolutely bonkers but very…

  • Spider-Man: Far from Home

    Spider-Man: Far from Home

    On August 31, 2009, The Walt Disney Company announced a deal to acquire Marvel Entertainment for $4.24 billion, with Marvel shareholders to receive $30 and approximately 0.745 Disney shares for each share of Marvel they own. The voting occurred on December 31, 2009 and the merger was approved.

  • Jaws

    Jaws

    ★★★★★

    Seen with an absolutely slammed crowd at the Music Box. It was as if Jaws was pro-wrestling. So many laughs and screams. What a gift! THE GREAT AMERICAN MOVIE!

  • Midsommar

    Midsommar

    Funny and weird! Truly a relief in comparison to Hereditary. If Ari Aster is gonna keep doing a buncha fucked up shit it should have to be in perpetual daylight like Midsommar is! Hereditary ruined my sleep for about two weeks, but last night, I slept soundly knowing all the pagan freaks are doing their broad daylight murders far away in their little village tens of thousands of miles from my REM cycle ☺️!

    (Italicized the movie titles to legitimize this review)

  • Toy Story 4

    Toy Story 4

    Funny eyes on that talking fork!

  • Late Night

    Late Night

    Ignore the rumors: there is no post-credits sequence of fictional Late Night host Katherine Newberry responding in the immediate aftermath of 9/11!

  • Men in Black

    Men in Black

    Infinitely watchable performances by everyone, Will Smith ending every sentence with a different variant of “Damn!” has always been the answer. Danny Elfman’s score is perfect: self-aware 60’s Sci-Fi soundtrack that tows 2001 grandeur and Plan 9 from Outer Space camp. All the sequels are a real self-serious bummer in comparison.

  • Whiplash

    Whiplash

    ★★★★★

    Ahahahahaha!!

  • Rocketman

    Rocketman

    Yeah it hits all the biopic tropes but also he heads a soccer ball during Honky Cat sequence. Inventive commercial musicals are so hard to come by, any movie musical that shows the least bit of ingenuity should get a +20 trope handicap. Therefore this movie rules, La La Land is pretty good, and Bohemian Rhapsody can eat shit!

  • Signs

    Signs

    Signs is fun