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  • Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

    Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

    ★★½

    I expect more from my teeth-eating rat-people films.

  • Stitch! The Movie

    Stitch! The Movie

    ★★

    Cheap stuff that leans far more on the sci-fi elements of LILO & STITCH than its touchy-feely stuff. As such, it plays like an afterschool TV adventure cartoon instead of anything cinematic or, y'know, worthwhile. Competent but charmless.

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  • Wrath of the Titans

    Wrath of the Titans

    ★★

    Exploding Dirt: The Motion Picture.

  • Blubberella

    Blubberella

    ½

    Based on a joke that no one wanted to see ("What if Bloodrayne was fat?") comes another amateur-hour Uwe Boll film. It's sub-Friedberg & Seltzer parody, complete with black face and a sympathetic Hitler (played by Boll himself). You've been warned...