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  • Foodfight!

    Foodfight!

    The animation in this movie is sub windows XP clip art quality. One of the most perplexing disasters I’ve ever seen. This movie could be mistaken as a sketch from one of those Tim & Eric Andre adult swim shows.

    Watch it as intended, on acid in a train station bathroom at four in the morning. It’s a truly unbelievable experience.

  • Blood Feast

    Blood Feast

    ★★

    Blood Feast has been cussed, discussed, dismissed, denounced, decried, despised, destained, and acclaimed. 
    -David F. Friedman

    Mostly a very bad movie. Nothing really happens between kills and I had a hard time hearing a lot of the dialogue. But when the magic happens it rules. The scenes where stuff is actually happening have a cruel almost accidental hypnotic quality to them. I can see why this movie fucked with people’s sensibilities sixty years ago but it’s not very disturbing by today’s standards. 

    It’s a pretty bad movie but it’s also such a classic. Also Joe Bob definitely helped me get through this.

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  • Howling II: Stirba - Werewolf Bitch

    Howling II: Stirba - Werewolf Bitch

    ★★★½

    I might prefer this to the first one. It’s dopey eccentric fun. It isn’t to coherent but attempts to continue the plot from the original with a Czech-vania vibe.

    The werewolf special effects  are fine, but we get plenty of them. There’s even a scene where the main characters are gunning down a group of wolves for what feels like five minutes. May have been a bit too long. Same with the hairy mid transition werewolf sex scene. Just way…

  • Fled

    Fled

    ★★★

    “Let’s go Dodge! We gotta Fled.”

    The first scene is a masterpiece. The rest is a fun but standard nineties action flick. I would love to see this type of smaller buddy action movie become popular again.

    This was the era of ripping off John Woo without understanding what made Woo so special. Lots of jumping and shooting, but the stunts are average. Still, the action is pretty cool sometimes. Fishburne rolling up firing two handguns was a nice image.

    Lawrence Fishburne was so consistently amazing in this era. Fuck man, he’s still cool. He even got to fistfight Hannibal Lector that one time.

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  • Robot Ninja

    Robot Ninja

    ★★★★

    Not a robot or a ninja. It’s more of a drug addicted comic book writer/artist. 

    I really thought this was gonna be about a robot who knows ninjutsu, but that’s just ridiculous. I should know better by now. But believe it or not, this movie RULES! More impressive given the small budget and that the director was only 19 years old. ROBOT NINJA doesn’t fulfill all of its own ambitions but it’s occasionally interesting, and it’s consistently fun.

    So not…

  • John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

    John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

    ★★★★½

    These movies have always had a somewhat dry sense of humor. John Wick III: Parabellum is hilarious. When viewed through a certain lense it’s like slapstick with guns.

    This would be a perfect movie if the Morocco scenes were cut out. But keep Halle Berry and her amoured death dogs. 

    Absolutely stunning. You probably already know if you’re going to like it or not. Go with friends and yuck it up, while taking in some of the greatest action scenes ever filmed. My favorite of the series.