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  • Moonlight

    Moonlight

    ★★★★★

    Barry really freaked it and made a film that makes you wanna reach out to your estranged father, huh?

  • Always Be My Maybe

    Always Be My Maybe

    ★★★

    Randall Park’s cheeks: points were made (two fat ones to be exact).

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  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant

    ★★★½

    I have a huge problem with this film. We all know that Michael Fassbender's dick is 6'12". How wasn't there the slightest print in that skintight bodysuit?

  • Call Me by Your Name

    Call Me by Your Name

    ★★★★★

    I have never been happier to pay $16 to do what I usually do for free: cry in the middle of a dark room to tender homosexuality and the sounds of Sufjan Stevens.