RSS feed for Jaimie
  • Us

    Us

    ★½

    One of the *stupidest* movies I've seen in a long time. I'll be back at a later date to explain why. Jordan Peele is a hack; and yes, I thought that after Get Out, too.

  • Pet Sematary

    Pet Sematary

    ★★

    Sometimes, the original is better (well, actually 95% of the time).

    Just okay. Moderately atmospheric, but criminally lacking in real scares. Basically a by-the-numbers retread of the 1989 movie. This needed someone to come in and do something *different*. Start by getting rid of the whole Victor Pascow subplot. It's not necessary or frightening. It's pointless filler that takes up too much screentime. Replace it with something more rooted in reality. The Zelda subplot works because it's something that could…

  • A Star Is Born

    A Star Is Born

    ★★★½

    It's now December 10th, and at no point in the last two months have I had any desire to rewatch 'A Star Is Born'. I enjoyed the movie at the time, but for me, it has zero rewatch value.

    **Spoilers**

    One possible reason for my incremental apathy towards the movie is the fatal story decision to have Jackson Maine commit suicide near the end of the movie. In my view, this was a totally unnecessary, defeatist downer, and an easy,…

  • Widows

    Widows

    ★★★

    Grossly overhyped, just like every Steve McQueen movie. Professional 'critics' are such mewling sycophants these days, and whenever a movie has the magic formula (i.e. Female leads + multicultural cast + tenuous race theme) they fall over themselves to hurl effusive praise, irrespective of whether the movie is actually worthy. A few points:

    * Everything in this movie is surface level. In my view, the 'race' aspect so about which so many critics are pontificating has less depth than 'Crash',…

  • Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

    Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

    ★★★★½

    Seriously, anyone who thinks that the irredeemable garbage of Halloween 2018 is better than H20 is, quite frankly, an idiot. H20 is genre masterpiece (IMO) and it's 50 levels above the risible hack job vomited out by Mcbride and Gordon-Green.

    * Believable story with a kick-ass Laurie Strode. Laurie is a 3D character in H20, with credible motivations and believable personal relationships. Plus, she takes *action* in her quest to rid the world of Michael Myers. She could've escaped, but…

  • Halloween

    Halloween

    Holy shit. What a fucking travesty. I can't believe how bad this turned out to be. The hype for this generic turd is off the charts, and legions of undemanding sheep with low standards (i.e. millennials) will ensure a huge opening weekend. However, make no mistake: this is not just a bad Halloween movie, it's bad movie overall.

    As a big horror movie fan who loves the Halloween series, I was excited to see this, but it failed miserably on…

  • Salt

    Salt

    ★★★★★

    Absolutely fucking superb! I love this movie. One of the greatest action movies of the modern era (IMO), and I don't believe that's an exaggeration. Who gives a crap if it's implausible at times? Is it plausible that John McClane can jump off an exploding skyscraper and survive? Is anything Arnie does in Commando or True Lies even remotely credible? No chance, but it doesn't make a blind bit of difference to the enduring brilliance/enjoyability of those movies. Salt is…

  • The Dark Knight

    The Dark Knight

    ★★★★★

    IMAX 70MM in NYC. Still an incredible movie, with Heath Ledger delivering one of the most memorable performances of the modern era. Yes, there are 100 tiny niggles (mostly convenience/contrivance issues), but the film is so darn entertaining and immersive that it transcends these petty complaints. And that ending, with Commissioner Gordon delivering his 'A Dark Knight' monologue amid the beauty of Hans Zimmer's amazing score (!) It gives me goosebumps every time, especially when the heavy percussion kicks in right at the end. An absolute classic, and should have been nominated for Best Picture in 2008.

  • Alpha

    Alpha

    ★★½

    The music is vital in dialogue-light stories like this, and although I liked the movie overall, the original score was severely lacking, and affected my overall immersion/enjoyment.

    Quite simply, this needed a better, more epic score, and the music for this was bland and forgettable. It needed a Zimmer, Balfe, Wallfisch, Holkenborg-type score: meaty, percussive, loud, and epic.

    Music is essential to movies. Imagine Mad Max: Fury Road without the pulsating and memorable Tom Holkenborg score, or Lord of the…

  • Mile 22

    Mile 22

    ★★★½

    I personally feel this will be misunderstood. People will obsess about rapid-fire editing, shaky cam, actions scenes etc and miss (what I perceive to be) the message of the movie, which is the same message in almost all of Peter Berg's movies: American exceptionalism always has fatal *consequences*, and it doesn't matter how elite you think you are, overconfidence leads to incompetence, and ultimately, tragedy. It's a thinly-veiled critique of arrogant and ego-driven foreign policy disguised as a straight-up action…

  • Hereditary

    Hereditary

    ★★★

    I have to say, I was disappointed overall. Great first act twist, and spectacular, Oscar-worthy performance from Toni Collette, but ultimately, it turned into a story we've seen a hundred times before.

    My disappointment stems from the lack of originality. For a while, it seemed the story might go in an unpredictable direction, but it quickly became clear that wasn't the case. A few points:

    * Something about the lighting/staging/visual aesthetic was off. Some scenes that could've been creepy weren't…

  • mother!

    mother!

    ★★★★

    A masterpiece, and like all truly great movies, it will - in time - be revered as a work of art. And to paraphrase Dave Moss: 'Sadly unappreciated by vacuous Millennial douchebags with the attention span of a fuckin' fly!'