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  • The Master

    The Master


    Brain: It’s a fictionalized depiction of the birth of Scientology.
    Big Brain: It’s a meditation on crises of masculinity in the postwar world.
    Bigger Brain: It’s a tragic love story between ego and id.
    Galaxy Brain: It’s about how opening up to someone is the hardest, bravest thing you can do.

  • The Tree of Life

    The Tree of Life


    Still the only moviegoing experience I can compare to a spiritual awakening.

    If I die while watching a movie, I want it to be this one.

Recent reviews

  • Good Time

    Good Time


    When Blanche DuBois said she always depended on the kindness of strangers... she wasn’t talking about this, bro.

  • Godzilla: King of the Monsters

    Godzilla: King of the Monsters


    During the end credits, I noticed one of the newspaper headlines read “What’s a King to a God?”, and my friend TJ and I immediately looked at each other and knew we were both thinking the same thing.

    That’s it. That’s your review. I refuse to put more thought into this than its creators did.

    (Okay, one more thing, because I need to vent: the 2014 film wasn’t perfect but it was the rare blockbuster with an honest-to-God vision -…

Popular reviews

  • Blade Runner 2049

    Blade Runner 2049


    This movie breaks the world.

    Seriously, let’s take a moment to remember what this actually is, a sequel to a 35-year-old movie that’s been enshrined as a classic. Everything about that points to a stain on the original’s legacy, the best case scenario being one that would fade with enough bleach. This couldn’t be good.

    And it’s not. It speeds right past being “good” without breaking a sweat.

    What it is is one of the most intelligent, ambitious and provocative…

  • The Square

    The Square


    A movie that wants to tell you about empathy, privilege, political correctness, the social contract and the digital age, and all I want is an explanation for how Elisabeth Moss has a pet chimpanzee. It’s incredibly funny and breathlessly audacious but too baggy and muddled to really satisfy. Terry Notary’s ape-man act is a showstopper, but it arguably shoots the film in the foot; it has to go through an entire third act after already peaking.