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  • Hustlers

    Hustlers

    ★★★★

    As Jennifer Lopez’s Ramona would say: this is fucking IT

  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Therapist: what’s on your mind? 

    Me: 

    Therapist: (with a heavy sigh) it’s the 19 years later epilogue with the shitty aging makeup again isn’t it?

  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

    ★★★★½

    Second best Potter film besides Prisoner of Azkaban yes I said what I said

  • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

    Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Complicated relationship with this one. If I hadn’t read the book before seeing it I would consider it the best installment besides Prisoner of Azkaban. The problem is: I’ve read the book. And as good of a film as it is on its own merits, as an adaptation it’s... kind of garbage. How are you gonna take the part of the story that gives the Big Bad all of his most interesting development and backstory and get rid of over…

  • Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

    Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

    ★★★★

    Took away a whole star for “DID YA PUT YER NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE” and added one back for McGonagall’s “babbling, bumbling band of baboons”

  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

    Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

    ★★★★★

    Best HP film without question. Harry’s big EXPECTO PATRONUM moment at the end is still probably my favorite scene in the whole series :’)

  • 20th Century Women

    20th Century Women

    ★★★★★

    An Oscar for Annette Bening... I would like to see it

  • It

    It

    ★★★½

    You punched me, made me walk through shitty water, dragged me through a crackhouse... and now I’m gonna have to kill this fucking clown.” - best fist-pump line in all of modern cinema I think

  • The Graduate

    The Graduate

    ★★★★★

    Why do you have to see him?”
    “Well I said I might marry him.” 
    Just saying that’s exactly what it’s like living in Provo, Utah rip

  • Velvet Buzzsaw

    Velvet Buzzsaw

    ★★½

    Dan Gilroy reuniting with Jake Gyllenhaal and Rene Russo? A cast including, again, Jake Gyllenhaal and Rene Russo, Toni Colette, John Malkovich, and Daveed Diggs? A film where we get to see Jake Gyllenhaal naked/shirtless not once, not twice, but three times? And as a neurotic bisexual art critic? How! Was! This! Not! Better!!

  • Unicorn Store

    Unicorn Store

    ★★★

    This wasnt very good but it was still actually really cute and heartwarming and Brie Larson is adorable and I’ll physically fight anyone who talks shit on her >:(

  • High Flying Bird

    High Flying Bird

    ★★★★

    This film has a brilliance that quietly sneaks up on you. It speeds along with conversation after conversation at a relentless pace, with no apparent regard for viewer understanding (don’t misunderstand, I do not consider this a flaw- while frustrating at first I think it’s a fine way to disorient the viewer and reinforce its themes of capitalist dehumanization through tone), until, in a climactic conversation, it all clicks with just a couple lines of dialogue that make your jaw drop as you contemplate what you just witnessed.