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  • Avengers: Endgame

    Avengers: Endgame

    ★★★½

    ***Spoilers***

    HOW A SCOTTISH DAFTIE WOULD FIX THIS MOVIE.

    INT - Avengers Compound Meeting Room - Day
    The team are in front of screens which show each soul stone and the information they have on each one. Black Widow is looking worryingly at Clint Barton who has become a shadow of himself.

    Tony Stark
    So, who knows anything about the Soul Stone?

    Nebula
    My father was aware it was located on Vormir. He took my sister with him to locate…

  • Bad Ben

    Bad Ben

    ★★½

    In this film a man buys a house and then tells the house he will fight it, then when he's asleep a ghost punches absolute fuck out of him. Must see.

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  • Dreamcatcher

    Dreamcatcher

    ★★½

    This is like it was written by children, it's great!

    Morgan Freeman has a gun that was given to him by John Wayne (for no reason), says a disease is called Ripley ("after the broad from the Alien movie", yes he actually says that) and calls everyone bucko.

  • Avengers: Endgame

    Avengers: Endgame

    ★★★

    *shrugs* x3000.

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  • Roar

    Roar

    ★★½

    It's practically a historical document about gigantic idiots. These people have a stupid, paper-thin plot for a film & decide to put $17 million, their gone-askew hippy minds & utterly stoned bodies on the line to prove that man & beasts with giant fucking teeth can co-exist. Which they can't. As this film proves.

    Reading the trivia on IMDb is like visiting Ogrish.com, the amount of people mauled & bitten on this film is frightening. The fact that the driving force behind it was…

  • Jaws

    Jaws

    ★★★★★

    I watched this ON A BOAT! The Tall Ship in Glasgow, to be precise. In the hull, where it was cold and damp & we had uncomfortable chairs, I was sat right at the front with a crick in my neck & the film jammed at "we're gonna need a bigger boat" - but I didn't care! Jaws is my favourite movie of all time, this was my favourite experience on a boat ever.