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  • Ferris Bueller's Day Off

    Ferris Bueller's Day Off

    ★★★★★

    If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle.

    Jennifer Grey is the true hero of this story and not just for kicking Jeffrey Jones in the face.

  • The Breakfast Club

    The Breakfast Club

    ★★★★½

    Paul Gleason's silly walk is one of the finest physical performances of all time. The ultimate portrayal of a man with a giant stick up his ass.

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  • Rocketman

    Rocketman

    ★★★★

    I liked the part where Elton John turns into a rocket and explodes. Most biopics would have skipped that historical event.

  • Godzilla: King of the Monsters

    Godzilla: King of the Monsters

    ★★

    Ugly, lifeless, incoherent and lacking in watchable monster action. Mothra isn't even fluffy, how do you fuck this up?