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  • First Reformed

    First Reformed


    Boy, I hate trying to rate films like this. Which is to say, I hate trying to rate films that I feel like I should have enjoyed more than I actually did. It's clearly so well made, but it just didn't grab me like I was hoping it would. If you're an absolute film nerd, you'll probably appreciate First Reformed purely based on Schrader's influences and inspirations(or just Schrader's own filmography). But if you're like me and haven't gotten around…

  • Oculus



    The casting is pretty terrible here. For a horror movie, it's really not that scary, and I place most of that blame on poor casting. However, I really appreciated this script. Not so much for the character development, as I never found myself rooting or caring for anyone, but it establishes the rules of this universe early and follows those rules throughout. That's more than most horror films can say for themselves, and it creates for entertaining situations that keep the viewer guessing. Bonus points for not relying on cheap jump scares, even if it made for a less terrifying film.

  • Hold the Dark

    Hold the Dark


    It's like an Alaskan "No Country For Old Men," but without Cormac McCarthy's poetic prose as source material.

    I always admired Saulnier for the way that "Blue Ruin" and "Green Room" both put me squarely in the shoes of real, flawed people doing things that movie characters do. I never believed the characters in "Hold the Dark" were real. I never felt that my expectations were being subverted. I almost find it hard to believe Jeremy actually directed this. That said, the cinematography is beautiful and there are some great, tense action sequences.

  • Mulholland Drive

    Mulholland Drive


    Genuinely mad that nobody warned me not to watch this before bed.

  • Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    The scene where the raptor cries in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is beautiful, because it represents how I actually felt while watching Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.

    Hear the full drunk review here:

  • Black Panther

    Black Panther


    Michael B. Jordan absolutely kills it in this role, but for me, Chadwick Boseman actually kills the movie as a whole. The character of Black Panther just has no charm or personality, especially when in the same film as Jordan, or Letitia Wright, or Dania Gurira, or almost anybody else in this great cast, and that's a large obstacle to overcome. The film suffers from the inverse problem of most superhero movies, in that the villain holds our interest, and…

  • Despicable Me 3

    Despicable Me 3


    Look, I realize how foolish it must seem to look for a well written story inside of the second money-grubbing sequel in an animated children's franchise that wasn't created by Disney or Pixar. Especially one that features The Minions(gag). But "Despicable Me 3" really had potential to be a solid film, and I think that's why I was so let down by it. If you look at the setup of this plot, it's just sitting on a tee, waiting to…

  • Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Spider-Man: Homecoming


    For as much as I love Spider-Man as a character, I hate Hollywood excess even more. So as you can imagine, with this being the second Spider-Man reboot of the decade and what already felt like the 200th Marvel film of the year, I really wanted to hate this film. I think I still do, in concept.

    But, whether it's that broken clock idiom or Marvel actually figuring out how to make a fun film that doesn't disgust those of…

  • Baby Driver

    Baby Driver


    Now that the hype around this movie has quieted down some, it should be safe for me to express how I've felt about "Baby Driver" this whole time. Here we go...

    It's okay. It's not bad, but it's certainly not great. I absolutely give Edgar Wright a lot of credit for creating something that could be perceived as original in a world of re-makes and sequels, but I don't think that should grant Baby Driver immunity from criticism. And when…

  • The Big Sick

    The Big Sick


    Riding the train into New York to see one of the first showings of "The Big Sick," I couldn't shake the fear that this movie would suck. It had to, right? There were just too many expectations, and it was bound to disappoint us somehow. I mean, it was Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon's first feature length script about the incredible true story of their relationship. It was directed by Michael Showalter after last year's surprisingly touching "Hello, My…

  • It Comes at Night

    It Comes at Night


    If you want to know what kind of film "It Comes At Night" is, look no further than horror films of the past with high critic ratings and low audience ratings on Rotten Tomatoes. "The Blair Witch Project"(86% and 55%), "The Witch"(91% and 56%), and now "It Comes At Night"(87% and 43%). All three have been praised by critics for their patient pacing, psychological thrills, and avoidance of genre cliches, while audiences have called them slow, boring, and "not scary."…

  • The Mummy

    The Mummy

    If you're reading a review of "The Mummy," you're probably looking for the answer to just one question: "Is it really as bad as the Rotten Tomatoes score suggests?" The answer is no. For all the other questions you might have, such as "Is it still a pretty bad movie?," "Is Russell Crowe unbearable?," and "Is there a scene in which Tom Cruise literally gets tickled by a mummy?," the answers are yes, yes, and hell yes.

    Despite the poorly…