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  • 1313: Haunted Frat

    1313: Haunted Frat

    ★★

    I cannot stop watching these movies. No matter what else I am doing these fucking 1313 movies haunt me. I feel intensely that I need to watch all of them even though they're exactly the same. They're hypnotizingly terrible. I can't look away from the screen even though nothing happens or the same scene is looped endlessly until I start to feel like I'm going insane. 

    Someone help me

  • Lorna, the Exorcist

    Lorna, the Exorcist

    ★★★½

    Film #37 of Shocktober17

    Lorna is the possessor. The "mysterious, irresistible, sorceress from a fantasy novel" Gorgeous, theatrical, dreamy and powerful. Lorna knows what she wants and she will get it, or ruin you trying to. Lorna and her electrifying blue eyeshadow; "this woman wants our destruction".

    Lorna is the mother who desires to be united with the now 18-year old Linda (played by Lina Romay). Lorna with soft orange and brown makeup, dressed in black lace. Visiting in the…

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  • Pass Thru

    Pass Thru

    ★★★★★

    No one:

    Absolutely no one:

    Neil Breen: Isn’t that corrupt? Isn’t that cheating the public? Isn’t that betraying the public’s trust?! Isn’t that IMMORAL??? THIS IS MY UNIVERSE. I HAVE ELIMINATED OVER 300 MILLION HUMANS FROM THE PLANET TODAY.

  • Rocktober Blood

    Rocktober Blood

    ★★★

    Still just as bafflingly awful on a second viewing, but I think these fake hard rock songs are growing on me? I’m going to be singing rainbow eyes for the next eternity or more. I actually really like the “I’m back” song (idk what it’s actually called!)

    And really I love how stupid this entire thing is. The undead, or is he?, pervert hehe-ing through crank calls and murders with a period blood kink. Our final girl who is told…

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  • The Green Inferno

    The Green Inferno

    ★★★★

    I met Eli Roth.

    I just met Eli fucking Roth. Wow. Okay I don't know how much of this will be an actual review of the movie and how much will be me gushing over how sweet and amazing Eli is but bear with me. I won tickets to meet Eli and see a screening of this movie as part of Wizard World in Chicago. Unfortunately I didn't know that the reception was 21+ (that's because the contest I entered…

  • Cult of Chucky

    Cult of Chucky

    ★★★½

    Film #28 of Shocktober17

    I am so happy to say that Cult of Chucky is good fun. There's many familiar faces on display here, and Jennifer Tilly has a larger role in this movie than Curse (it's not huge, but she's in more than one scene!). They revive the character of Andy which was a nice touch as well.

    The majority of the movie is spent following Nica as she is dealing with her life in a mental hospital, following…