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  • Murder Mystery

    Murder Mystery

    ★½

    The laziness of the title extends all the way throughout the movie. It's bland, far too conventional and its stars just mail it in (essentially the opposite of last year's Game Night). Sadly this is still one of Sandler's best efforts for Netflix which is more reflective of the god awful quality of those efforts than it is a praise of Murder Mystery.

  • Sliding Doors

    Sliding Doors

    ★★

    It’s the year 2002 and Gwenyth Paltrow is riding the tail end of her peak. Newly released DVD Shallow Hal is out of stock is at the local blockbuster so a 10 year old me is tasked with choosing between Paltrow’s Shakespeare in Love and this. I chose Shakespeare in love then so now because there’s no alternate timeline I finally decided to see if I missed anything. Turns out I didn’t. Watch Right Now Wrong Then for a much…

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  • Love Actually

    Love Actually

    But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - Love Actually is terrible.

  • The Cloverfield Paradox

    The Cloverfield Paradox

    ★½

    If Alien is the Beyonce of this genre
    Then Life is the other members of Destiny's Child
    Which makes Cloverfield Paradox the Kidz Bop version of the song