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  • The Torturer

    The Torturer

    ★★★½

    Some great Best of the Worst material right here. Leans into its B-movie premise in entertaining ways, directly referencing a bunch of other films (Bond, Gilda, Casablanca, Bananas, etc), but never quite reaches parody. The literally impotent dictator and the proto-Castor-Troy cocaine-sniffing priest are highlights.

  • Dark Phoenix

    Dark Phoenix

    ★★

    It's no Apocalypse.

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  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road

    ★★★★★

    Now I have finally realized what they mean with "I can't even".

    But I'll try.

    Mad Max: Fury Road is an ass-kicking, jaw-dropping, punk-rocking, mind-blowing, staggering, breathtaking, stupefying, overwhelming, astonishing and synonym-inducing work of art.

    I pity the fools, myself included, who unjustifiably dismiss any type of craft by sheer hypocritical beliefs. That includes blockbuster film-making. If far too often we're exposed to what appears to be collective delusions that can even "go beyond mere mediocrity to offer possible evidence…

  • Kingsman: The Secret Service

    Kingsman: The Secret Service

    ★★★★★

    Disclamer: Potentially blinding hype.

    I felt like an 80's kid watching Die Hard for the first time.
    Like Kim Jong-un listening to Katy Perry for the first time.
    Like Kanye West hearing himself.

    It's just 130 minutes of the most pure awesomeness. There's no other way to put it. I cease to believe this as a bad thing. As appellative as it is.

    "Isn't it ridiculous", you may ask. YES
    "Isn't Sam Jackson's character foolish". HELL YES
    "Isn't the whole…