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  • Ghastlies

    Ghastlies

    ★★★½

    The invasion begins when the ghastlies interrupt the dorkiest Satanic ritual ever. Cut to: bedroom aerobics. Oh yes, I am on board with this movie.

    An overabundance of eye-rolling '80s-isms decorate this playful, micro-budget homage to tiny monster flicks like Gremlins and Ghoulies. It's also not too bad of a hangout movie, something we don't see much of anymore. Letting the main cast live for the first 45 minutes or so to get their vacay on is always appreciated, especially…

  • Vampira

    Vampira

    ★½

    "I want your blood... I want your sperm... I want your soul!"

    Got this from SRS Cinema's "found inventory sale" as a double feature with Night Vamps. Not a sexy vampire movie as much as it is a vampy sex movie, presumably censored porn for late night TV (my guess). Of course by taking out the explicit content, all we're left with is a threadbare story and choppy softcore love scenes. It has that patented '90s vampire atmosphere I like, but there are countless other films that do it much better.

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  • The Toxic Avenger

    The Toxic Avenger

    ★★★★

    The only avenger that matters.

  • Mountaintop Motel Massacre

    Mountaintop Motel Massacre

    ★★★

    Mountaintop's narrative is very, very similar to Tobe Hooper's Eaten Alive; though instead of a giant crocodile, our maniac Evelyn has much less lethal critters to terrorize her guests with (bugs, rats, a snake) and a much smaller scythe to off them. The isolated, half-rundown motel location is my favorite part, and the hodgepodge clientele makes for an interesting cast.

    While a nifty little shocker that features a couple of hilariously staged wet t-shirts and some nasty kills, it unfortunately doesn't measure up to the masterpiece Hooper's film is. There's nothing too redeemable about it, but overall it's more good than bad.