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  • 1st Summoning

    1st Summoning

    ★½

    Bruh i'll defend found footage to the ends of the earth, i will always have a special place in my heart for it's aesthetics and limitations, but this is easily the best example of why some people have a deep hatred for it. it's boring, so cliche with satanic cult stuff i found it actively grating, and , worst of all, the acting is so lazy. i'm even the type to love found footage when nothing "happens"; stuff happens here. but none of it is good. or so bad i find it endearing. this is bland.

  • Intruder

    Intruder

    ★★★★

    Wow, this is about as fun and wholesome a slasher can get. i've seen most of what happens here already, but it's done so effectively and efficiently, i couldn't help but have a hell of a lot of fun. and it's funny when it tries intentionally, all without becoming a joke itself. shit's good.

  • Urban Legend

    Urban Legend

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Damn Rebecca Gayheart is so pretty, and i find her even more attractive when she goes full psycho killer.

  • Jacob's Ladder

    Jacob's Ladder

    ★★★★½

    i had sex for the first time in the middle of my first watch of this movie, with my first real love. She gifted me the dvd of this before i left for home. to this day it is the only piece of physical media i own. the second time i watched this it was in the same city we met in, except we were no longer together, my first time stupidly high, and alone all by myself in a…

  • Afraid of the Dark

    Afraid of the Dark

    ★★★★

    i can't explain it, but i wanted to tear up in the last act. something moved me but i can't say what.

  • Satan's Little Helper

    Satan's Little Helper

    ★★★★½

    Incredibly stupid plot devices, but still unexplainably creepy and unnerving. Will stick with me for a while. Also, something about using the look of a mid 2000s tv movie for this makes even more unnerving.

  • Godzilla

    Godzilla

    ★★★★

    Almost a perfect modern blockbuster, if it weren't for the pro-military bootlicking.

  • Lovely Molly

    Lovely Molly

    ★★★★

    difficult to watch meditation on trauma. Understated in some parts but it works in the long run.

  • Halloween

    Halloween

    ★★★★

    i teared up when Laurie held hands with Judy Greer. Trauma is a lifelong venture.

  • Grave Encounters 2

    Grave Encounters 2

    ★★★

    i actually appreciate how logic and nuance completely go out the window in the 3rd act. they were like fuck it, let's make this fun as hell. Would've given a half star more if the asian guy didn't die first.

  • Mortal Remains

    Mortal Remains

    ★★★

    God the two main characters are annoying as shit. But the ending was sick.

  • Psychopaths

    Psychopaths

    ★★½

    extra half-star for Angela Trimbur. she's so pretty.