Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom ★★

How is it that the only people on the entire planet who haven’t seen a Jurassic Park movie are the people in Jurassic Park movies? They’ve lived through it! They should know better by now

To nobody’s surprise it’s big, it’s dumb, it’s full of cheap tension, and I swear it’s scientifically formulated to be precisely 50% action and 50% exposition without any room for shots or characters to breathe. Some of it is hilarious though. Selling dinosaurs to arms dealers? Dinosaurs being friendly with humans? Good one.