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  • Overlord

    Overlord

    ★★★½

    The problem with horror movies is they require 45-60min of boring day-to-day reality before the horror stuff. This film solves that by substituting a WWII story for the "boring reality".

    You know, like in Predator(1987).

  • Mortal Engines

    Mortal Engines

    ★★★

    Movie pitch: "After WWIII, cities on tank treads gobbling each other up."
    *greenlight*

    This is a movie. A hilariously corny, popcorn-munching, turn-off-your-brain movie.

  • All About Nina

    All About Nina

    ½

    99.999% of comedians: *jokes*

    Every thin comedienne under 40: "I'm sick of everyone wanting to fuck me. It's my #1 problem. He wants to fuck me. You want to fuck me. Why can't fuckbois just leave me alone instead of tryna fuck me??"

    Even the talented Mary Elizabeth can't save this film. It's not even a film with a plot, it's a recorded acting exercise.
    Mary=pass, Common=fail.

  • The Grinch

    The Grinch

    ½

    This one makes the 2000 Grinch look like the 1966 Grinch.

    Go watch either of those instead of this lousy dreck.

  • Replicas

    Replicas

    ★★

    This is straight late-night B-movie stolen from a 1950s "Tales From the Crypt" or "Weird Science" comicbook.

    And just as predictable.

    *yawn*

  • Polar

    Polar

    ★★

    I liked the first act: Wild zany style and characters. Over-the, over-the, over-the-top story. Actors were good, camera work too. But just like John Wick or Taken, this hitman was so overpowered that it gets tiresome and paint-by-numbers. Adding Vanessa Hudgins to it just made it feel like a teenager who wrote her in to show how clever he thinks he is.

    Don't see this if you want to feel for the characters. This is from a heavily-stylized, Samurai-Jack-type Dark…

  • Hunter Killer

    Hunter Killer

    ½

    Great for insomniacs!

  • Widows

    Widows

    After watching the trailer, I was excited for a kick-ass female-empowered heist film where the widows took matters into their own hands and showed all the male gangsters and politicians who the REAL criminal masterminds of Chicago were!

    This is not that movie.

    It's 2018, I just knew the director wouldn't stoop to the widows crying alot like stereotypical helpless females. (they did) And there was no way, they'd stoop to begging men for help and/or literally prostituting themselves for…

  • Iliza Shlesinger: Elder Millennial

    Iliza Shlesinger: Elder Millennial

    ½

    Pretty woman tries to be funny. *yawn*

  • Down a Dark Hall

    Down a Dark Hall

    ½

    What is AnnaSophia Robb doing in this craptacular film?

  • Hellraiser: Judgment

    Hellraiser: Judgment

    ½

    plz stop

  • The Happytime Murders

    The Happytime Murders

    ½

    It's got Melissa McCarthy.