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  • Long Shot

    Long Shot

    ★★★½

    I would WILLINGLY get shot in the face if it meant I could have a sniff of one of Charlize Theron's used tampons

  • Hellboy

    Hellboy

    ★★

    Has some eye dazzling creature shit, but otherwise, a corny mess

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  • The Weather Man

    The Weather Man

    ★★★★

    Was worth watching to hear Michael Caine talk about camel toes in a shitty American accent and to see Nick Cage get pelted with fast food.

  • The Room

    The Room

    ★★★★★

    Where do I go from here? Every movie I watch since then is shit. Everything I eat is bland and flavorless. The sun no longer shines. I haven't fed my cats in days. I'm not even sure if I ever had cats. My pubic hair is falling out. Everything I do isn't Tommy. Tommy is everything. Where do I go from here? It's tearing me apart.