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  • City of Ghosts

    City of Ghosts

    ★★★★

    It was the scene when the younger man was speaking, after watching his father being executed in a slickly-edited propaganda video on the internet. He talks about his father being killed, and his older brother being executed shortly afterwards. He promises that they won't be forgotten, barely keeping his emotions in check.

    That's the scene where it hit me that all these men working as covert journalists in the ISIS capital... they're all my age. They're just kids, basically, thrown…

  • The Mule

    The Mule

    ★★★★

    I like watching movies where my Grandpa goes on adventures and pretends to play a senile old man while he gets the better of everyone around him and eats ice cream sandwiches in his truck singing along to the oldies. Yeah, it's clunky in places like most Eastwood thrillers, but in some ways that makes it even more endearing, like the bizarre scene-to-scene editing that jolts our main man from place to place haphazardly.

    An Eastwood that is highly critical…

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  • Rocko's Modern Life: Static Cling

    Rocko's Modern Life: Static Cling

    ★★★½

    A nostalgia reboot movie where the plot, about creating a nostalgia reboot, is a metaphor for nostalgia reboots. This is the kind of story that beats you over the head so hard with its message that it's got a character named "The Winds of Change." A movie made specifically to annoy the people that watch Jordan Peterson videos and go on rants about how Rose Tico is a bitch.

    Also, the transgender character is not some random extra thrown in…

  • Duck Butter

    Duck Butter

    ★★

    Just because it's gay doesn't mean she's not a manic pixie dream girl.

    Wait, wait, I got another one: The best part about this movie was how much it made me want to watch Before Sunrise again.

    Wait, even better: When the Duplass Brothers are the most likeable characters in your movie, you did something wrong.

    Wait, one more: What the fuck was that ending? That was a pile of shit.

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  • Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You!

    Pokémon the Movie: I Choose You!

    ★★★

    Since nobody else on here's seen it yet (it came out today), I get to make the comment first: Pokemon: I Choose You! is the End of Evangelion of the Pokemon series.

    Okay, that's not quite accurate. It's still very much a kids' movie and doesn't feature heavy subtext or eye vaginas. It does get pretty weird though and features some psychological elements along with metafictional commentary that is a bit more than I'd expect from a Pokemon movie.

    The…

  • On Her Majesty's Secret Service

    On Her Majesty's Secret Service

    ★★★★½

    2017 Bond-A-Thon 6

    Well, I was wrong about my comments on You Only Live Twice, because it tuns out THIS is the best Bond film so far. Discarding the extreme campiness of the previous few entries and going for a slightly more realistic and considerably more serious story, OHMSS is an action-packed thrill-ride that has actual emotional stakes for the first time in the series so far.

    I said this about the previous two movies, but this one once again…