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  • Rica 2: Lonely Wanderer

    Rica 2: Lonely Wanderer

    ★★

    Features precious little of the gore, nudity, humour and multiple costume changes that made the spunky first film so enjoyable.

    It does, however, have one of the actors unintentionally drooling while delivering one of their lines.

  • The Dirt

    The Dirt

    ★★★

    Slightly awkward but entertaining (and occasionally hilarious) rock biopic that somehow doesn't completely disappear up it's own arse. It's not the greatest story ever told and, refreshingly, it seems to know it.

  • I Think We're Alone Now

    I Think We're Alone Now

    ★★★½

    I Am Midget.

  • Cobra

    Cobra

    ★★★

    Is Reni Santoni reprising his character from DIRTY HARRY here?

    Pretty sure Andrew Robinson isn't.

  • The Great Battle

    The Great Battle

    ★★★

    The Feel-Good Battle.

    About as rote and as clichéd as they come but it certainly doesn't skimp on the spectacle - or the splatter.

  • One Cut of the Dead

    One Cut of the Dead

    ★★★★

    I don't know what's funnier: the hilarious punchline of a third act or reading the clueless reviews by those who didn't even stick around long enough to discover that it had one.

  • Dawn of the Dead

    Dawn of the Dead

    ★★★★★

    Japanese TV version. Shortened Euro cut with alternate "Suspiria" soundtrack. Bizarre!

  • Dawn of the Dead

    Dawn of the Dead

    ★★★★★

    Euro cut. Open aperture.

  • Maximum Overdrive

    Maximum Overdrive

    ★★★½

    If you think this movie sucks, I sentence you to watch the late 90s TV adaptation, TRUCKS.

  • Bird Box

    Bird Box

    ★★

    Hallmark Channel horror.

    Plus, why do they always have to have babies in these things?

    I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT BABIES.

  • Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    ★★★

    Ethan Hunt could survive the heat death of the universe and still punch on afterwards.

  • Atrocious

    Atrocious

    The cinematic equivalent of self-harming.