Sleepless in Seattle ★★½

-“What do they call it when everything intersects?”
-“The Bermuda Triangle.”

It's a miracle I finished this movie. My mom tried to politely warn me before starting it, but I insisted. I was excited because I hadn't seen it before, and the name was so famous, and really, how bad could it be? It's Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks!

Well yeah, it's everything bad about the Rom Coms stereotype. The comedy is overplayed but never lands, the schaltzy sentimentality is madly abused but never works, the main characters have zero personality, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan actually feel miscast, the score is awful and kitschy, the needle drops ruin the flow and cheapen the emotions, the sets and lighting look like a cheap stage production, the hamfisted script- I could go on and on and on. It's just awful. If bad Netflix Rom Coms had a model, this would be it. Mindless, heartless, disposable, counterfeit.

Yet in this bland, mediocre, unbearable durge, there are two things of value: Bill Pullman as an absolute doofus who knows exactly what movie he's in, and the two kid actors, who rock. The boy Jonah is especially fantastic, a hilarious, intelligent, lovable, complicated character brought to life by some wunderkind of a child actor. In a movie from the team behind When Harry Met Sally and with an all-star adult cast, this kid was the best thing, and maybe the only good thing. If this movie was a dull gray rock devoid of life and purpose, he'd be a smiley face scribbled on the side.

Yeesh.

Point is, moms are always right.